Don’t we all want to be liked by everyone around us. This is a condition that many of us have. To break this conditioning means we have to put in some effort. If you Empower The Observer within, as Author Speaker Kit Gupta talks about in his latest book, you could break such a conditioning that keeps you from performing at your highest level. In this inspirational video Kit shares details about this challenge.
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The news about my boss, Andy, giving his two-week notice spread like wild fire in the department. Everyone who reported to him was apprehensive about what the next guy was going to be like.
Is the new guy going to be better or worse than Andy? Everybody was concerned about how this change would affect them, including other managers that worked with Andy.
Weeks later after Andy was gone, as I was working on the production floor, one of the technicians came up to me and said, “So I heard you have a new boss now.”
“Do I?” I inspected some plastic parts coming off a molding machine.
“You didn’t get the news yet? You and I will both be working for Shawn now,” he said as he scrunched up his face in discontent.
“Is is that bad?” I inquired.
“I don’t know how much you’ve worked with him, but he doesn’t deserve to be a manager,” he added, “The stars were lined up just right for him and the timing of it was right; that’s the only reason why he got to become a manager.”
Years later, I asked my audience at a speaking event: if they believed that everything, every single thing that they have in their life was because of their action. Some of them agreed, others did not.
Look at the above scenario. Andy made a clear conscious decision to quit and move somewhere else. So Andy created what he wanted through his action. However, Andy’s action also resulted in creating a vacant spot in the department. It’ll be foolish to say that Shawn intended that.
Did Shawn get the position because of his own action?
Some might argue that just like Andy, Shawn made a conscious decision of taking the position, so he created what he wanted through his action. Yes. But one intricate component of this scenario is that the decision made by one person (Andy) impacted what the other person (Shawn) got. That is referred to as destiny by some and opportunity by others.
Every one of us experiences this phenomenon in our personal relationships or professional careers at some point of time in our life. That relationship that you so deeply desired with someone, but it never worked out. The job or career that you so yearned for, but you ultimately ended up doing something that you had never dreamed of. Perhaps there is a component that we don’t have a control over: people and events both, which changes what we end up with.
No matter what you call it: destiny or opportunity, taking action is what ultimately makes destiny or opportunity a reality. Whether the result in what you expected or not—take action.
I was wrapping the boxes of precious gemstones after giving a presentation in an upscale retirement community in North Dallas. A lady approached me and said, “My husband, who died last year gave me this for our anniversary. I did not notice this before, but if you look carefully, there are a few black spots in this Ruby. Does this mean that this stone is fake?” I looked at her and smiled. “The technical word for the black spots is “inclusions.” That is what the industry refers to these black spots as and they are natural,” I replied.
That evening, while driving back home, reminiscing about my interaction with the lady made me smile again. But this time I was not smiling because of what she asked me. Co-relating her question to our personal, professional and social lives made me smile. Gemstones, including diamonds show inclusions because of a natural process. These could be impurities that become a part of the precious stones while its forming under high pressures and temperatures. A stone without any inclusions at all is more precious and rare. There is no laboratory process that can eliminate these inclusions. If you look at a cubic zirconia (a stone know for its brilliance and flawless characteristics), even under high magnification, you will find no inclusions in them. That is because they are lab created, they are not natural. Or as some people say “they are artificial.”
Flaws are a sign of being authentic. Most of us want to be flawless; we want to avoid making mistakes: doing or saying the wrong thing. But making mistakes, not knowing everything is being a human. That is what makes us authentic and acknowledging our flaws makes us absolutely authentic.
We all come across certain people in our personal relationships or work who have a hard time admitting what they don’t know. They feel the need to defend their position, they raise their voice and become dramatic. This happens when people are not connected with their inner-self. When we take ourselves for granted and always want to be right, that’s when we are fake. We are just dead-walking- alive!
Keep an open-mind, an open-heart and acknowledge when you are not right. Sometimes, it’s okay for others to know more than you. If you make a mistake, don’t be afraid to apologize. It makes you more genuine. There is nothing worse than defending your position to make a wrong- right. That’s fake.
Admitting your flaws is the quality of an authentic leader; they are hard to find but you can easily find crowds of those that don’t. Flaws are natural. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Be authentic and you can succeed in your personal, professional and social life.