How Real Is The Pain We Feel?

After putting the groceries in the back seat of the car, I closed the back door and sat in the driver seat since my wife does not feel like driving today. Which she never does, so why should this be a different day. I remember, on our first date night, I wanted to be a gentleman.  So I drove for dinner to the Olive Garden in downtown Indianapolis—that was February 27 of 2009— I have not been able to get off the driver seat since. “I should call my mom,” she said and buckled up. As we are driving back home, I hear the voice of my mother-in-law on the other side.  “How are you doing Mummy?” my wife asked.  “I’m ok” she replied. After being married for seven years, even I could tell that “ok” meant not really good. It was either the physical pain or something deeper that was causing her to say “ok.” Marriage makes you predictable, and I knew what my wife’s response to that would be. “Have you been worrying too much?” she asked. After ten minutes of convincing my mother-in-law that she is responsible for the pain that she was feeling in her back and legs, they shifted gears to talk about the dog—his highlight of the day makes everyone smile, including me.

It was the middle of January in Dallas, Texas, although winters here are not as bad as some of the other cities I have lived in on the east coast —a bright day and seventy-four-degree temperature was perfect to get on my bicycle for a ride. I am an avid biker, but I thought that most bikers ride for hours and go forty miles or more at one time, so why shouldn’t I do it today. Of course, I was pushing every mile on my fixed-gear bike to get home after almost half-a-day of bike riding. And just a couple of miles from home, while I was coming down a hill, I lost the grip on my handle and before I could even blink, the skin on the joints of the left side of my body had already experienced the first road rash. A visit to the urgent care, weeks of antibiotics, not being able to stand properly and waking up in the middle of the night from the discomfort — all because of the pain.

Ruminating over the conversations between my wife and her mother for years, it was not ambiguous anymore- Pain is real. The Pain we experience; whether it is physical or emotional, it does exists. Not all the pain is created by how we think. If any part or organ of the body struggles to function optimally, we feel discomfort. We refer to this discomfort as pain. However, the intensity of the pain we feel could be altered by rewiring the brain. Training ourselves to learn the correlation between what exists and what we feel, gives us better control on the experiences we have in our personal, professional and social life.  This is one way to create excellence in the experiences we have in our everyday life.


How well do you know yourself?

Juggling to crunch in numbers to prepare a costing proposal while my manager Debbie took a day off to enjoy time with her family; her boss Craig walked into my office. As always, he pulled one of the vacant chairs from a cube behind me and made himself comfortable by placing and crossing both his legs on the empty desk next to me. “Do you have everything you need to prepare the quote this morning?” he said, huffing and reclining in the chair. For the next few seconds, I  continued to crunch numbers in the red, green and yellow color highlighted spreadsheet that I had been working on non-stop for hours. “I have most of the information, but there are a few questions that I can call Debbie to get answers on,” I replied to Craig in an optimistic tone. I tried really hard not to get him involved. My attempt to keep Craig from asking me questions was futile. Unwillingly, I discussed the concerns I had about some key elements that were needed to be plugged into the spreadsheet to get an accurate costing for this proposal. As always, he came up with an answer which contradicted my boss Debbie.  “I would like you to do it my way and not Debbie’s and finish the task,” he replied in a stern voice. “A CEO trumps over an engineering manager any day,” and he walked away.

As I was driving back from work, I ruminated over my conversation with Craig in the morning. It led me to question about titles and designations define us. Often, we take the titles we hold in the organizations we work for, as our true identity. I am a teacher, I am an engineer, I am an accountant, I am a mother, I am a husband and the list keeps morphing as we move through different phases of life. But what is the true “I am.”

To find your true identity — you need to create a connection with yourself, that is beyond a personal or professional title. Creating an understanding of who we are is possible when we rewire the brain: transform the thought processes that make us believe that our job or our relationship status is our true self. Build your unique strategy to create such transformation and find your true identity.

Learn more about Kit Gupta, an engineer turned entrepreneur who is working to create transformation in the lives of individuals around the world through his work at his non-profit IE SIGMA® and by organizing iExcel Events.

Find more and attend iExcel Events in a city near you to learn how you could build strategies to create excellence in your personal, professional and social life.

iExcel Dallas 2016 – A Life Transformation Event

IE Sigma® is organizing iExcel Dallas on February 27, 2016 at the Bank of America Theater, Eisemann Center in Richardson Texas to share strategies to create excellence in the lives of North Texans. The event focuses on “how to” create the success that we desire in our personal, professional and social lives.

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iExcel Events are a one-of-a-kind approach where not just the speaker but the audience is involved throughout the event. In real-time everyone is sharing and evaluating strategies from those who have failed or succeeded in any domain of their life. Whether it is achieving happiness in the relationship with your partner, family or yourself; iExcel events will transform how you look at achieving success.

Join hundreds of Texans at the Eisemann Center on February 27, 2016 to build your success strategies and take your relationships, career and your social life to the next level. Independent of what your belief is, whether you believe in science, technology, religion, spirituality or you live a life without any belief- iExcel events will transform how you create success in your life. To create excellence in life, there is no absolute. So, come build your strategy for success to transform your life in 2016.

Visit iexcel events to learn more about the organization, speaker and it’s goals.

Wish you could be better?

In the summer of 2012 in New Delhi, the sun behind the smoggy clouds felt piercing through the window of the car straight onto my face causing it to burn. Sitting on the passenger side, I wished the window was tinted but because of the heightened rate of crimes in one of the most populated cities in the world, the law did not permit to have dark tinted windows anymore. Exhausted from just a short trip in the summer heat waiting for the stop light to turn green, I heard a tap on my side of the window. A young boy wearing an over-sized shirt placed a sun shade on my window blocking the sun from falling on my face. I felt the breeze coming from the air condition suddenly cooling me off. My dad pulled the window down from the driver side and I looked at the face of the child who hoped to make a deal. In a stern voice “How much,” my father asked. “Forty rupees for a set of two,” replied the boy. Even the boy knew his offer was high but he knew if a customer is interested, seldom do they walk away without making a counter offer. Sure enough he received a counter offer to sell a set of four for forty rupees. The boy looked away for a few seconds like he was doing the math to calculate where that would put him from his target goal. Very firmly, the boy replied, “If I accept your offer, I will have to give up my meal for two days,” and he walked away from the traffic as the light turned green.

There is an innate desire that every individual has, to do better in anything they do. Even a young boy on the streets of New Delhi who perhaps has no formal education in business or sales is not oblivious of what doing better means to him. Independent of his age there were certain goals, certain expectations that the boy wanted to meet and get a sense of gratification in the deal he makes. It has been over five years and I think of that event numerous times. I realized that an event that could be mundane in the lives of millions of other people was an exemplary stage performance for me to understand the meaning of being better or as I call it “Integrating Excellence.” As long as we are alive, we are constantly striving for excellence by setting and meeting goals in our relationships, our profession and the society. Every individual has a different way of executing their plan to become better. Each day in our personal relationships and our profession we make an effort to become better by setting goals for ourselves and we strive to achieve those goals. After all, life is all about continuous improvement and the creation of excellence.


IE SIGMA is a non-profit organization focused on transforming life by teaching how to “Rewire Your Brain, Think Beyond Profits and Live Here Now”.
Author Kit Gupta is the Director and Transformation Coach that is helping millions of people to learn the transformation techniques.

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Creating Fulfillment With Nothing

Kit Gupta, Founder iExcel Events by IE Sigma®
Kit Gupta, Founder iExcel Events by IE Sigma®

It’s an age old question: How can you get happiness from nothing? We buy a new car, a car we wanted since the first time we saw someone else driving it on the road, we feel happy. If we find a new job, a job that benefits us financially, we feel happy. It is not just the tangibles that give us this sense of fulfillment but also when we receive intangibles. If we receive compliments about the car we drive or when our boss or co-workers commend us for our accomplishments, our confidence is boosted- we feel worthy! If our partner appreciates us for the things we do with them or for them, we don’t hesitate to mention the joy and contentment we feel to our friends when having a relationship talk. Whether it is a tangible asset like a car, a job, a house, a life-partner, or an intangible like compliments, appreciation or love- we believe that happiness is achieved by giving and receiving.

Not only we have been told that if we give happiness to others we will be happy, but many of us have seen our parents, families and friends becoming happy or making others happy by making a trade of a tangible or an intangible asset. Independent of our race, religion, or nationality, we observe this phenomenon occurring at every level. Nations trade commodities for economic growth and peace, so we use this as a local phenomenon in our personal, professional and social lives.

But, what if our fulfillment and happiness was independent of what we receive or give others. What if we can wake up everyday full of contentment regardless of what we experienced at work. Independent of the amount financial losses in stock, independent of the loss of the promotion we were hoping for, for years. What if our fulfillment was not hinged upon any tangible or intangible. What would it take to create such a life at an individual level? What would we need to change about ourselves to create such a transformation?

Working on building a strategy to create a life of excellence that is independent of what we give or receive, starts with creating a deeper understanding of ourselves. Fulfillment in our personal, professional and social domains is achieved when we rewire the brain, think beyond profits and live here now. As we start building unique strategies that fit in the model of our life, strategies that are unique to us, that’s when we knowe we are on a path to creating happiness from no-thing.

Learn more about the work of Engineer-turned-Entrepreneur Kit Gupta and IE Sigma® -a non profit that takes you beyond science, technology, religion, and spirituality and works with individuals around the world to transform their personal, professional and social domains. Attend iexcelevents in a city near you to build strategies for excellence to create transformation in your life.